Beyond Vanity Metrics: Coaching Your Product to Self-Awareness

In Product Management, we talk a lot about metrics. Activation, retention, churn, NPS, the numbers that fill our dashboards and define our quarterly reviews. But somewhere along the way, many of us start chasing metrics that look good instead of those that mean something.

The same thing happens in life. We celebrate output, promotions, achievements, milestones, and forget to pause and ask whether the work is actually fulfilling, sustainable, or aligned with purpose.

That’s why I’ve started thinking of product metrics the way I think of coaching conversations: Not as a scorecard, but as a mirror.

The Illusion of Progress

Vanity metrics are the product equivalent of external validation. They make us feel accomplished but often hide the deeper truth.

A spike in signups, downloads, or page views looks impressive, but what does it tell us about the user’s experience, their behavior, or the value they actually received?

In coaching, this is like a client saying they feel “productive” because their calendar is full. Busy doesn’t always mean effective.Likewise, product activity doesn’t always mean engagement.

When we celebrate surface-level indicators, we risk confusing movement with momentum.

Asking Better Questions

Every good coach knows that the power lies not in answers but in the questions we ask. And the same holds true for Product Managers.

After a feature release, we shouldn’t just ask,

“How many people used it?”

We should ask,

“What changed for the user because of it?”“What friction did we remove?”“What value did we actually create?”

The goal isn’t just to track adoption, it’s to understand transformation.A metric without a story is like feedback without reflection: empty of meaning.

Coaching Your Product Like a Client

Imagine your product as a coaching client sitting across from you.

You might start with powerful questions like:

• “What are you learning about your users this quarter?”

• “Where are you stuck or not living up to your potential?”

• “How do you define success beyond numbers?”

Suddenly, you’re not measuring output, you’re cultivating awareness. That awareness becomes the foundation for better strategy, smarter experimentation, and a more connected product culture.

When I work with product leaders, I often remind them that coaching and product management share the same DNA: Both are about creating conditions for growth, not controlling outcomes.

Leading Indicators of Growth

Metrics that matter are like early reflections in a mirror, subtle signals that reveal where things are heading.

For a coach, that might be a client’s shift in confidence, clarity, or emotional energy. For a PM, it’s metrics like:

• Time to First Value: How quickly does a user feel rewarded?

• Engagement Depth: Are they exploring more, returning faster, or connecting further?

• Retention Intent: Are users choosing to stay because they want to, not because they have to?

These are leading indicators, they show learning in progress, not just results in hindsight.

When the Metrics Become the Mindset

Here’s the hidden truth: the metrics we choose shape the culture we create.

If we reward speed, teams move fast, even when direction is unclear. If we celebrate vanity metrics, teams optimize for optics. But if we honor learning, value creation, and behavioral change, teams evolve toward purpose.

The best product cultures I’ve seen treat metrics as conversation starters, not performance reviews. They ask:

• What’s the story behind this number?

• What does it tell us about our assumptions?

• What do we need to explore next?

That’s how a product becomes self-aware.

Reflection for Product Leaders

Try this after your next release:

• Instead of reviewing only performance data, ask your team what they noticed.

• What surprised them? What delighted them? What didn’t work as expected?

• What did the release teach them about the customer, and about themselves as a team?

You’ll be amazed at the quality of insight that emerges when you switch from reporting to reflecting.

Because the goal isn’t to build a product that looks successful. It’s to build one that’s learning, about its users, its purpose, and its impact.

Closing Thought

Great coaches don’t measure how often someone shows up, they measure how much they grow when they do. Great Product Managers can do the same.

Metrics matter. But meaning matters more. When you start treating your dashboards as mirrors instead of scoreboards, your product, and your team, begin to evolve.

That’s not just success.

That’s awareness in motion.